Some diving tricks Quelques trucs de plongée
  1. How to Survive a Strong Current: as a last resort, grab something. If you've tried your best to fight a current and you're not making adequate progress, you may have to go to the bottom and hold onto something, despite the no-touch rule we are all taught. Be as friendly to the environment as you can--grab dead coral and rocks, for example--but in the last resort, your safety comes first. You can pull yourself from rock to rock along the bottom with far less energy than you would use finning.
  2. How not to forget important things: have an exhaustive check-list
  3. How to Equalize Your Ears Every Time:
    • Chewing gum between dives.
    • Tilting your head from side to side, stretching and relaxing your neck muscles.
    • Exhaling through your mask without holding your nose.
    • Flooding or completely removing your mask and then clearing it.
    • Inhaling saltwater up one nostril and blowing it out the other before the dive.
    • At the surface, holding your nose and blowing gently to overpressurize your ears before a descent.
  4. How to get the odor out of gear and keep it smelling fresh
  5. How to Reduce Dive-Related Stress :
    Put it on pause    . A system of deliberate pauses will greatly improve your diving and prevent stress. This simply means that at each major transition point--before gearing up or entering the water, at the surface and before descending, when arriving at the bottom and before ascending, at the safety stop, and again when arriving on the surface or before exiting the water--you simply:
    • Pause.
    • Check yourself, your gear, your buddy and the environment.
    • Take time to allow your body and mind to adjust to the many changes you are undergoing.
    • Compare instruments and communicate with your buddy as needed.
  6. 57 Ways to Improve Your Gear
  7. How To Equalize Every Time :
    Having trouble equalizing? There are a number of tricks of the trade for ear equalizing that have been handed down from old salts. Some work for
    some divers and not for others. If you're having trouble, you can try:
    • Chewing gum between dives.
    • Tilting your head from side to side, stretching and relaxing your neck muscles.
    • Exhaling through your mask without holding your nose.
    • Flooding or completely removing your mask and then clearing it.
    • Inhaling saltwater up one nostil and blowing it out the other before the dive.
    • At the surface, holding your nose and blowing gently to overpressure your ears before a descent.
  8. Stopping Computer Face Scratches
    Stick it. Many computer manufacturers and accessory companies make clear plastic sheets that adhere to computer faces to prevent scratches. These often come with a computer when it's new. They can also be purchased separately and cut to fit your particular model.
  9. Current problem (tired, using too much air)
    A simple device called a Reef Hook, nothing more than a blunt curved hook attached to a line. Down you go, swimming hard into the current to the bottom (which is the "top" of the reef). Find an appropriate place to plant your hook, and you're ready to enjoy the sights. Since you don't have to struggle against the current, air is plentiful and the beating of your heart is from the scenery, not from "finning" yourself to exhaustion (This trick has been successfully used in Palau for years)
  10. Getting into a stubborn wetsuit, by scuby_diver "Have you ever tried to get into a wetsuit that didn't seem to want you in it?
    You know those plastic bags they use at the stores to put your groceries in or whatever? Simply put your foot in the bag and pull the bag up over your leg as far as it will go. Then just pull your wetsuit on over it - the neoprene slides over the plastic easily. When your foot pops out at the bottom of the leg, simply pull the bag out, and presto, you are one quarter of the way done."
  1. Comment lutter contre un fort courant: en dernier ressort, s'accrocher à quelque chose sur le fond. Avancer en s'accrochant à du coral mort ou des rochers de préférence (pour ne rien abîmer). Cette méthode permet de se fatiguer beaucoup moins plutôt que de rester en surface...
  2. Comment ne rien oublier d'important: avoir une check-list exhaustive
  3. Comment améliorer la sécurité:
    • suivre les règles d'or du plongeur:
      1. NE JAMAIS RETENIR SA RESPIRATION
      2. Réfléchir puis agir
      3. Ne jamais plonger seul (si possible)
      4. Être en forme (bien dormir, ne pas fumer avant)
      5. Bien vérifier son matériel
      6. Avant de plonger: manger du sucré mais pas de féculents, pas de boissons gazeuses
      7. Prendre bien soin de son matériel (nettoyer/rincer, sécher, entreposer)
    • tout avoir à double (détendeur,lampe)
    • vérifier son check-list avant de partir, et le mettre-à-jour si d'autres bonnes idées surviennent
    • avoir un sifflet, parachute/flotteur de palier
    • contrôler que son équipement est en bon état, et qu'on sait bien l'utiliser
    • être pessimiste: prévoir l'imprévisible...
    • "il vaut mieux plonger seul que mal accompagné"
    • manger sucré avant de plonger pour ne pas avoir froid (pas d'alcool car l'effet augmente avec la profondeur, pas de cigarette car on pompe plus d'air, pas de féculents à cause des ballonements)
  4. Comment garder de bons souvenirs:
    • tout noter dans son carnet de plongée aussitôt après la plongée (sinon on oublie ce qu'on a vu...)
    • ne pas se forcer à plonger si on n'a pas envie
  5. Comment réduire le stress de la plongée
    Faire une pause    . Des pauses amélioreront énormément ta plongée et éviteront le stress. Cela signifie simplement qu'à chaque étape principale (avant de s'équiper ou d'entrer dans l'eau, à la surface ou avant de descendre, en arrivant au fond et avant de remonter, au palier de sécurité, et en arrivant à la surface ou avant de sortir de l'eau) il te faut simplement:
    • faire une pause
    • vérifier soi-même, son matériel, son binôme et les alentours
    • prendre du temps pour permettre à son corps/esprit de s'adapter aux nombreux changement par lequels on passera
    • comparer les instruments et communiquer avec son binôme si nécessaire
  6. Comment enfiler facilement une combi étanche: bas de nylon sur la tête pour enfiler facilement la collerette; Entretien: talquer les manchettes
  7. Masque: garder le masque autour du cou pour ne pas le perdre (même si ça gêne); cf urgence PADI; le ranger dans une palme (voyage)
  8. Stab: purger sa stab de l’eau puis la gonfler un peu
  9. Problème avec le courant (fatigue, trop d'air consommé)
    Utiliser un crochet à accrocher une fois au fond => moins de dégats que ceux dûs à l'accrochage avec les mains et aux coups de palmes (utilisé à Palau depuis plusieurs années avec succès)
  10. Enfiler facilement la combinaison
    Mettre son pied dans un sac plastique (supermarché) puis enfiler la combinaison dont le néoprène glissera alors avec facilité.

Jokes (http://www.scubadiving.com/feature/topten/archives.shtml)

Top Ten Signs That You Have Made Too Many Dives

  1. You have to put your total number of dives in scientific notation.
  2. You look back at your logbooks and realize you've spent more time at decompression than at work.
  3. You're permanently prune-figured.
  4. Your dive log is available on Amazon.com.
  5. You have named all the zebra mussels on your favorite wreck.
  6. You worry that your office elevator is ascending too quickly.
  7. You've stopped logging your dives because it's easier to just log your surface intervals.
  8. Your "time to fly" is measured in months.
  9. Your picture appears on fish identification tables.
  10. You perform a Valsalva maneuver prior to stepping on a down escalator.

Want more scuba humor? Top 10 List archives at http://www.scubadiving.com/feature/topten/archives.shtml

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